Bean, bean, the musical fruit

Why do beans make people produce music involuntarily? If you know about lactose intolerance, you probably already have the answer—it's all about not having the enzyme to digest some doohickeys. In this case, it's the lack of of a-D-galactopyranosidase, which breaks down oligosaccharides (specifically, raffinose, stachyose, and verbascose). And just as "lactose" is a fancypants term for milk sugar, "oligasaccharide" is just a fancypants term for bean carbs.

Carbs that our body cannot digest go to the colon, where they are gnawed on by bacteria whose byproducts are gases that turn our bodies into walking wind instruments of death. Hydrogen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, and—in some unfortunate individuals—methane, together produce the sound effects.

Anyway, you can easily shush the music by taking the missing enzyme in the form of Beano. To minimize other types of music produced by bacterial fermentation, change what you eat and see what happens. It's a fun science project, but not for your second-hand subjects and innocent passersby, I have to say.