I don't want no stinking bean sprouts in my northern Vietnamese pho

If you are in a noodle house serving northern Vietnamese cuisine, do not ask for bean sprouts for your pho, unless you want to antagonize the people who run the place. Keep on asking, and you might get some free spit in your soup. They don't add no stinking sprouts and herb doohickeys to their already perfect noodle soups, dangit!

What? But how do you know you are eating northern pho? Rule of thumb: thick noodles and green onions = north; thin noodles with a side dish of fresh herbs = south. Or maybe you can just check the cover page on the menu or even the giant restaurant sign, but pshaw, that's too easy.